The Med NERD Scale

THE TEST – One point for every sentence that applies to you.

  1. You have ever said “Netter is god”.
  2. You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal.
  3. You own a 4 color pen
  4. -it just isn’t enough colors for you
  5. You use more than one color to take notes
  6. You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months
  7. you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote
  8. you retype handouts given in class
  9. you haven’t had a date in 3 months
  10. you haven’t had a date since entering med school
  11. you have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie reflux for heartburn)
  12. You get more sleep in lecture than at home
  13. You know the correct spelling for pruritus
  14. -you also know what it means
  15. You have ever asked a question in class
  16. -The prof. didn’t understand the question
  17. -you didn’t believe the answer the prof. gave
  18. -you went to look it up to see if they were right
  19. You can’t hold a conversation on anything other than med school
  20. You skip class to study
  21. You’ve said you didn’t do well on a test on which you beat the mean
  22. You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail
  23. You have a callous on you finger from writing
  24. More than one professor knows you by name
  25. When you ask a question, a new professor has said “Oh, I’ve heard of you”
  26. You can name more amino acids than past presidents
  27. You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking
  28. you actually know what PERRLA stands for
  29. You know all the steps of the TCA cycle
  30. You do not read PTA as parent teachers association
  31. You can remember the muscles in the forearm
  32. You know the structures in the urea cycle
  33. You know the dermatome distribution
  34. You can’t remember what you had for breakfast
  35. You can’t spell world, much less backwards
  36. You’ve ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X-ray
  37. You equate “morning stiffness” with Rheumatoid Arthritis
  38. You actually know normal values for plasma Na
  39. -K
  40. Missing class causes you extreme stress
  41. You have seriously asked someone “So how does that make you feel?”
  42. You have asked will this be on the exam
  43. -Just after the prof. said it wouldn’t
  44. You identify with Deb on E.R.
  45. You have made a medical joke
  46. -no one laughed
  47. -You figure they just weren’t that far in their studying
  48. You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus
  49. -you don’t even know which way the thing goes in your ears
  50. “SOB” means short of breath to you
  51. You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied
  52. -within 3 days of the lecture
  53. You have answered a question in class
  54. -asked by the professor
  55. -it was a rhetorical question
  56. You can quote lines from the movie “Malice”
  57. -you believe them
  58. You can flip your pen over your thumb
  59. -with both hands
  60. -you do so throughout class
  61. You have corrected a professor in class
  62. -the rest of the class didn’t understand the lecture to begin with
  63. You know how to calculate specificity
  64. -positive predictive value
  65. -anion gap
  66. -you can’t balance your checkbook
  67. You don’t know what the weather was like for the past week
  68. You don’t know what the weather is like right now
  69. You actually talk in open ended questions
  70. DIC isn’t a slang term for the penis in your book
  71. You think B-is a bad grade
  72. you have stressed about a pass/fail class
  73. You study during most of your meals
  74. You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
  75. You draw all of the slides not already provided in the handouts
  76. -including the cartoons (humourous type)
  77. Anatomy makes you hungry
  78. You would even consider saying “Ease back on my finger at your own pace”
  79. You know the size of a RBC
  80. -you don’t know the size of a football field
  81. Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year
  82. You have the library hours memorized
  83. Hou have your own seat in the library
  84. You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final
  85. You own more than one white coat
  86. You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order to find more time to study
  87. You started studying for boards more than 2 months in advance
  88. You have never received a personal invitation to discuss your grades with the dean
  89. A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally wear when you go to see patients
  90. You wear scrubs to tests
  91. You have made plans to study on a beach during vacation
  92. -you actually did
  93. You have a designated seat in lecture
  94. -You have ever asked someone to move from “your seat”
  95. You sleep less than 4 hrs a night
  96. -you think that is plenty
  97. -you have thought about cutting back
  98. You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class
  99. -you think you are a slackard
  100. You think everyone answers yes to most of these questions

THE SCALE – Sum up your points.
<20 You’re not in Med school.Go back to your party and leave us alone.We have work to do.
20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of “Senor doctor”
35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care
45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that you mention it…
60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots of money
75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked?
90+ All hail, great Med School Nerd master.

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