THE TEST – One point for every sentence that applies to you.
- You have ever said “Netter is god”.
- You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal.
- You own a 4 color pen
- -it just isn’t enough colors for you
- You use more than one color to take notes
- You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months
- you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote
- you retype handouts given in class
- you haven’t had a date in 3 months
- you haven’t had a date since entering med school
- you have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie reflux for heartburn)
- You get more sleep in lecture than at home
- You know the correct spelling for pruritus
- -you also know what it means
- You have ever asked a question in class
- -The prof. didn’t understand the question
- -you didn’t believe the answer the prof. gave
- -you went to look it up to see if they were right
- You can’t hold a conversation on anything other than med school
- You skip class to study
- You’ve said you didn’t do well on a test on which you beat the mean
- You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail
- You have a callous on you finger from writing
- More than one professor knows you by name
- When you ask a question, a new professor has said “Oh, I’ve heard of you”
- You can name more amino acids than past presidents
- You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking
- you actually know what PERRLA stands for
- You know all the steps of the TCA cycle
- You do not read PTA as parent teachers association
- You can remember the muscles in the forearm
- You know the structures in the urea cycle
- You know the dermatome distribution
- You can’t remember what you had for breakfast
- You can’t spell world, much less backwards
- You’ve ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X-ray
- You equate “morning stiffness” with Rheumatoid Arthritis
- You actually know normal values for plasma Na
- -K
- Missing class causes you extreme stress
- You have seriously asked someone “So how does that make you feel?”
- You have asked will this be on the exam
- -Just after the prof. said it wouldn’t
- You identify with Deb on E.R.
- You have made a medical joke
- -no one laughed
- -You figure they just weren’t that far in their studying
- You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus
- -you don’t even know which way the thing goes in your ears
- “SOB” means short of breath to you
- You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied
- -within 3 days of the lecture
- You have answered a question in class
- -asked by the professor
- -it was a rhetorical question
- You can quote lines from the movie “Malice”
- -you believe them
- You can flip your pen over your thumb
- -with both hands
- -you do so throughout class
- You have corrected a professor in class
- -the rest of the class didn’t understand the lecture to begin with
- You know how to calculate specificity
- -positive predictive value
- -anion gap
- -you can’t balance your checkbook
- You don’t know what the weather was like for the past week
- You don’t know what the weather is like right now
- You actually talk in open ended questions
- DIC isn’t a slang term for the penis in your book
- You think B-is a bad grade
- you have stressed about a pass/fail class
- You study during most of your meals
- You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
- You draw all of the slides not already provided in the handouts
- -including the cartoons (humourous type)
- Anatomy makes you hungry
- You would even consider saying “Ease back on my finger at your own pace”
- You know the size of a RBC
- -you don’t know the size of a football field
- Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year
- You have the library hours memorized
- Hou have your own seat in the library
- You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final
- You own more than one white coat
- You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order to find more time to study
- You started studying for boards more than 2 months in advance
- You have never received a personal invitation to discuss your grades with the dean
- A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally wear when you go to see patients
- You wear scrubs to tests
- You have made plans to study on a beach during vacation
- -you actually did
- You have a designated seat in lecture
- -You have ever asked someone to move from “your seat”
- You sleep less than 4 hrs a night
- -you think that is plenty
- -you have thought about cutting back
- You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class
- -you think you are a slackard
- You think everyone answers yes to most of these questions
THE SCALE – Sum up your points.
<20 You’re not in Med school.Go back to your party and leave us alone.We have work to do.
20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of “Senor doctor”
35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care
45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that you mention it…
60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots of money
75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked?
90+ All hail, great Med School Nerd master.